a letter

dear whoever-above,
WHY, why, why on earth do you have to play such a trick on me!!!? and at such a crucial time. do you know that this joke could just cost me alot of things, more importantly, my self-confidence i've been trying very hard to build up all this time.

i didn want to to be born like this, you made me this way. and as much as i want to change it, there's limited things i can do. and ever since that stupid damn post made by that stupid malay bitch few years back, yes i still rmb, i've been really trying to build up the self-confidence that stupid bitch crushed.

and now, you have to bring someone else into my existance and crush it once again. not just anyone, but someone so different, so special.

i seriously wonder what i have done wrong, to deserve such treatment for such a thing.

i may have joked and acted indifferent just now, but did you know that deep down inside, it was so hurting. very fucking painful.

and the fact that he is not just any someone, and the fact that no one will understand makes this process much more lonely, much more killing.

i don't see anything wrong with liking someone. but you had to put me through those horrible months, and now this. how great.

我并不奢求太多，只要能平平淡淡的过每一天。难道这么一点小要求，你都不能帮我完成吗。

i'm really really tired. this life is getting too tough for me to hold on.

maybe someday, i'll just give up this tiring life.

yours sincerly,
pris.





its a night for tears and wet pillows