changed

know something,

i somehow feel that everything's changed.
it'll never be the same again.
一切都变了，都不再一样了。


sometimes i think i really should control my mind,
but i can never do so.
its runs like fire, and it burns like hell.


i'm sorry friend.
somethings just can't be the same anymore.

its not you. its just me. i'm just a fucking bitch who deserves no love. because i've got the whole world against me. and its me annd only me against the whole damn world. its time to rethink everything. even you, her, him everyone. i'm putting my own screwed life at risk. because everything seems fucking wrong. i'm just fucking stupid to vocalise everything in my mind. pris is just a fucking stupid assholic friend. i deserve no friends

and you know how sucky it is, when you've got work piled up to your head, and fucking troubles filling up your mind, and your parents are just too engrossed in working that they only know how to ask if you've done your revision for fucking tests and what you're going to do tml.
and YES, thats what i'm going through!! do you know!? how fucking irritating and sucky it can be. i dont have the life that i wish i can have.
i dont have parents whom i can discuss my problems with.
i don't have friends who are here on my beck and call.
and NO, i don't have genuine friends.
i'm not as fortunate as you think.
i'm determined to screw my own life and live a screwed life. fuck

ahhh fuck damnit, maybe i should just bury myself in work.

pain pain, come again.

give me a bottle. let me be drunk in my own world