i will definately miss them.

freedom

the smell of freedom,
ever so sweet.

yet the hidden conditions behind it,
spoils everything.


to give it up or not?


#250

the difficulty in picking it up




yes, i know i've been grumbling about the stupid attachment
yes, i know i've been saying that the interview is so last minute
yes, i know i've been saying i've got chalet on that day

BUT

no, i did not say that i won't be going for the interview
no, i did not say that the chalet is all i want to go for
no, i did not say that i want to quarrel to you.

like HELLO, its my f*cking scholarship at stake. as much as i want to let it go, i know i cannot afford to. because the f*cking school fees are f*cking high and i know that no matter what, to hold on to that f*cking scholarship is part of my duty to repay my sins of not studying hard enough in tj. i did not f*cking say anything about not lettting go, neither did i raise my voice, so stop f*cking saying that i don't deserve any concern just because you f*cking think that you are the only f*cking facing stress at work, and that i only know how to use the internet like no f*cking business. and if you think so, then i can f*cking tell you that you f*cking undermine me, because i am no f*cking brainless person, because i know alot of things and there are alot of f*cking things i want to say, but i don't because i know you are alr f*cking stressed. so just leave me alone and stop venting your f*cking anger on me, because i just want to do my own things, so would you please leave me alone and f*cking stop trying to read my mind because you always fail. and i dont really need your pity or reward anymore. because i know now, whatever i am doing, i am doing only for myself and no f*cking other, even you. because now i know, i can only depend on myself.

because the world is a biased place.
and i am not strong enough

dreams gone with the wind.

sometimes, i feel like quitting.
not because i dont like the money
its just not my kind of life
i don't like to be informed of things last minute, which spoils my holidays
i don't like to have to do things because there are conditions attached to them
i just want to be a good, mugging student during the term, and a free person during the holidays.

damn you scholarship.



if i will wait, would you still stand by me

3 MORE DAYS TO END OF PAPER!!

2 MORE DAYS TO STUDY!!

1 MORE PAPER!!

woohooo~ :DDDDD

keep mugging on please, pris.


maybe a sweet escapade would do good aye

march will you come quick

if only i could be as sweet as that sweet.

screwed big time

I NEED A SHOPPING SPREE!!! like super big time!!

those kind where i use my NETs card like nobody's business you know.

f*ck those thoughts where my mom will kill me. f*ck those thoughts about spending my precious savings. JUST GET ME SOMEONE TO GO WITH ME!! arghs. not like online shop browsing is helping much, coz mostly, my nosey mom is peeping and giving stupid comments. wth.

its not that i have the money, or need more clothes. its more of a WANT!! to release those f*cking emotions inside me. those f*cking bottled up emotions which i have not been able to express apart from the f*cking thoughts that i haven't had the mood to study, and i really haven't been studying and i'm so f*cking screwed for those f*cking tests. which will result in no university in the right mind will accept me after i get my diploma, which will be another f*cking failure listed under my name in the family, and no one will trust me to do well anymore because i just f*cking disappoint everyone everytime.

and its not only f*cking academics. there's so much f*cking more inside me, but its so f*cking difficult to express that i cannot be bothered to tell anyone about it. not like everything is so similar to those times back. and its not my f*cking fault that im feeling this way if some f*cking people could be more considerate and all. arghs. sometimes i do wonder why i am so f*cking nice to some people when they don't deserve it. i just feel that i am a f*cking fake person. maybe i should be a mean person and stop showing concern, and being nice to those f*cking people, because i am damn tired of being nice.

am so f*cking irritated such that i havent been going anywhere except school for the past week. i dont even go to the lib to study coz the only person to suffer is sucker coz i will just f*cking blow up at him, not like he deserves it. damnit.

WHAT A F*CKING WORLD!

F*CK YOU PRIS!!

ok bye

IM DEPRESSED.

#1 ididnstudyforthewholeweekendsandstsarecomingliketuesday
andimsodeadcozimsonotpreparedforit
andididnevendowellforchemca2.
godblessme.

#2 thoseuniadmissionscoresaresofreakinghigh
anditfeelslikeihavenilchanceofgettingintoanysporeuni
anditslikeoverseasuniaredamnbloodyexpensiveanditsnotlikeihavethemoolah.

#3 ithinkmydreamtogetintoamedicalschoolisgonelikethewind.

#4 ithinkiamatotalfailureinlife.
ifailinbeingasmartconscientiousstudent.
ifailinbeingafilialdaughter.
ifailinbeingagoodsister.
ifailinbeingagoodfriend.

#5 mywholelifeisdepressing
cozicannotevenachievesomethingihavewaitedforayearplustodo.


i shall now go look into the mirror and reflect on what i failure i have been. if only someone will give me a slap and ask me to wake up if not i'll never ever succeed in life, and i'll be deemed as the failure of the whole HO family.

and oh, i hate how you are biased and a great liar and all. i dont know why in the first place i could be so nice and close. how fake can i be?


your personal nick is really really nice. if only you knew what im referring to

enjoy~

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

~ a kiss for all you singletons out there!!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Pris
2. Girl
3. 嘉玲

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. PRIS
2. JIALING
3. liing'x

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. my right eye
2. my left eye
3. my fingernails

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. fats everywhere
2. hair everywhere
3. pimples everywhere

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Chinese
2. I own the Hainanese Chicken Rice Kingdoms. lol
3. the squatting toilets at home

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. insects
2. the sound of metal on metal
3. death

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. handphone
2. sleep
3. clothes

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW
1. 2d class tee
2. Fbts
3. Specs

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW)
1. 甜蜜约定- 183club
2. 深呼吸 - 宇恒
3. 缺席 - 黄靖伦

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. i love someone from my past and present
2. i used to have hair till my butt
3. i wish i could be a lesbian

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. HIS smile
2. HIS height
3. the way he walks


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. sleep
2. shopping
3. wandering online

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. MAHJONG!
2. shop like mad, i wldn mind thailand with eli
3. convince myself to study

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED
1. cardiologist
2. musician
3. nurse

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1. Japan
2. Paris
3. Taiwan

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE
1. Zavier
2. Yvonne
3. Desmond

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Be rich
2. Pray that no one will cry for me
3. Grow old

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. I shop
2. I love dresses
3. I cry easilt

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. Sit worse like a man
2. Spew vulgarities
3. I prefer hanging out with guys

THREE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW
1. Li Lin
2. Kimberly
3. Changling!

如果是就好了

thank goodness for THIS.
my TWT GEMs CA2 topic is finally approved.

off for CRS CA3 before i get back and finish the !^#%#%&* essay.



就抱着你，绝不放手
让幸福只为你停留
你是我的天使，我的唯一
我的绝无仅有

HAPPY 16TH TO MY 'LIL BRAT!! ((((:
take very good care of your black abangs! ((:

*******************************************

everything needs a pushing force.
and because you are my pushing force
and you asked me to do
i will to my best ability(:

C is for COOKIE

i ♥ my cookie monster keychain! ((: bigbig thanks to gugu! :D


went for 元宵 dinner just now.
and my cousins are still major camwhorers. hahaha.

i didn know that i could miss my eldest cousin so much

# that apart, i seriously think i am a crybaby and whatsoever. cried and realised i cried for nothing. and in the first place, i shouldn have cried. LOLS.

# there's A&P. biophysics test on monday and i have done nothing. GG. yayyayyay.


till then,
BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYE

imma pH 1

i feel like scalding and hurting people with super acidic words now.
because i cannot understand how some people just harp over past things, and not think about how much shit those stupid words can bring.
DAMN YOU PEOPLE!!


mahjong later.
tyvm

i think i'll cry the whole night to sleep.
tyvm

feeling as if i'm drowning in the huge amount of things to mug.
and randomly,
i am fuckingsuper missing Looi Siew Yuen, Elizabeth Chew, Peh Li Lin and Mah Haoning.



shitass.
and the worst thing is i'm not going to meet them till march.
damn the Sem Tests!! :((
everyday its school (lessons) -> library (mug) -> home (rest, mug).
and even now, i am beginning to skip lessons coz lessons feel meaningless alr.
arghs. i wasn even so mugger-ish back in jc.
damn the tests!! :(((




howhowhow?
告诉自己一个人多好
arghs




its 9:53PM now.
and i decided that i cannot concentrate any longer.
stupid random unknown things running in my head.
i'm gging to bed.
dumb

die man. my hands are still itching for mahjong after playing at laoshi's hse. arghs.

ANYONE GAME FOR A GAME on VALENTINES' DAY!? with me and eli!? hahaha. we loves are gonna spread the love! LOLS.


i seriously need to start mugging,


till then,

YUEN & ELI, PRIS LOVES YOU MANY!! :D *cheers*

gossip girl 2

别再为他流泪 - 梁静如

你走了太久一定很累
他错了不该你来面对
离开他就好 就算了 心情很干脆

他其实没有那么绝对
远一点你就看出真伪
离开他不等于你的世界会崩溃
转个弯你还能飞

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉


每段感情都非常珍贵
他的好你就放在心扉
记得有个人曾让你那样的心醉

你笑了照亮夜幕的黑
什么梦都不比你的美
多少年以后想起他还有些体会
那些你已无所谓


就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后为自己醉

就别再为他流泪
别再让他操控你的伤悲
就算有一点愚昧一点点后悔
也不要太狼狈
他不值得你的泪
把那遗憾留在大雨的街
你曾在迷失的旅途中盲目追
以后管他是谁


for the special girl again.
我知道你一定会坚强
开心哦！！ (:

gossip girl

为了一个人而伤心
为了一个人而哭泣
是否问过自己是不是想太多
是否问过自己是不是值得的


一切想清楚了
一切相通了
就要再开心的
就要再幸福的
做回最真实的你
因为最真实的你
才是最迷人的
才是我们认识的你


记得，
要开心
要快乐
要幸福
要笑！！


因为我们一直在你身边
为了爱撑到最后！


specially for my gossip girl(: